


To Say Goodbye

by LozB4



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Bittersweet, Goodbyes, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Joe/Nicky is background sorry, M/M, Nicky is protective of coffee, Sad, The ending might be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26874628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LozB4/pseuds/LozB4
Summary: On realising that Nile is still missing her family and never got a proper chance to say goodbye, Nicky volunteers to call her Mom and let the youngest member of their team have the closure that he himself never got.Nile saying that she wishes she could hear her Mom's voice one last time got me thinking about giving her that closure and because Nicky is a sweetheart I think he would be the one to volunteer to help.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 7
Kudos: 149





	To Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this months ago and its just been sitting in my notes, usually Joe/Nicky centred fics are my gig but I really like the Nile & Nicky friendship and wanted to write something with different emotions. 
> 
> As I remember there is much mention of coffee because I'm caffeine dependent and wanted coffee whilst writing this and it was nice to have a bit of humour.

Nile sighs as she looks over at Nicky on the other side of the kitchen table. They’re in one of the nicer safe houses, owned by Nicky and Joe for who knows how long.

Nicky has probably been up for hours if the variety of food available is anything to count for. Yet he looks so serene, reading over the worn, time yellowed pages of an old Latin book. He has a pot of coffee next to him, the one thing he never offers to share, not even with Joe, according to whom the coffee is very expensive and very rare and the one thing Nicky allows Joe to treat him to. 

They’re the only ones in the kitchen so at Nile’s sigh he looks up. “Tired?”

“No I was just thinking.” He is quiet for a second then asks.

“Want to talk about it?” 

“It’s just- it’s my mom’s birthday. Usually we’d spend the day together but this year she’ll be mourning me.” 

Nile took up Copley’s offer to be killed in action. It was cleaner that way. 

She never got to hear her Mom’s voice again. 

“I’m sorry.” Is all Nicky says in reply, his blue grey eyes still on her. 

“Do you ever miss your Mom?”

“I used to miss her everyday. Time makes grief more bearable but yes. I miss her. I never saw her again after I left for the Crusades. I deserted and left with Joe.”

“Did you never want to go back and see her?”

“Many times. But Mama would have been so disappointed. In more ways than one.” 

“I’m sorry." She watches as Nicky glances down at his book, his chest shifting with a heavy sigh before he touches the necklace that is always hidden under whatever t-shirt he is wearing. Given that he often touches it when thinking about Joe, she can only assume it was a gift from the man himself. 

"What about Joe’s Mom?”

“We visited her once. She stabbed me through the heart in her own kitchen- understandable I suppose, to her I was an enemy, but Joe missed her a lot less after that. I know him though, he misses her. He always thinks about her when we have figs. She loved figs.”

They sit in silence for a little but then Nicky gets up and pushes the pot of coffee to her. “You never share your coffee.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“If Joe buys it- why isn’t he allowed it?”

“He’s on a ban. Last time he had my coffee I caught him putting 7 teaspoons of sugar in. Strong words were spoken. And he’s serving a hundred year ban for his crime.”

“You wanted to give Booker a year of exile for getting you tortured but you have Joe- the love of your life- on a 100 year ban because he put too much sugar in coffee?”

“There are things that are inexcusable Nile. Desecrating my coffee being one of them. Besides I thought I was going easy on him. I didn’t ban sex or anything.” 

“Have you done that before?”

“I rarely inflict torture upon myself.” He says with a cheeky smirk that is usually reserved from when he and Joe are annoying Andy with their romantic antics. 

There are footsteps down the hall that Nile can’t distinguish between Andy or Joe but Nicky of course can because he leans back, rolling his shoulders as he greets, “Morning Yusef.” 

“Good morning my love.” Joe greets, leaning over Nicky to kiss the top of his head. “Why did I wake up alone dearest?”

“You slept for 11 hours. I love you but not your snoring.” 

"I told you, just smother me with a pillow and stay." 

Nicky just rolls his eyes then looks back at his long abandoned book. 

Joe’s eyes narrow as they track across the table, “Nicolo, why does Nile get to drink your coffee?”

“It’s a one time thing and so far she’s doing better than you. We were speaking of our mothers.” Joe hums in the back of his throat then runs his gaze over Nicky’s face with a slightly sad look. “You remember my mother beloved?”

“Vividly.” 

Joe looks at Nile as he tells the story, "I took Nicolo to meet my mother, I never even hoped it would go well but it went worse than expected. At first she thought he was my prisoner, then she realised he wasn't. Then I told her that I loved him with all my heart and she stabbed my Nicolo through his. I managed to drag his 'body' away before he came back so at least she didn't realise we were immortal." 

"Its one hell of a 'meet the parent' story." Nile concurs and both immortal men laugh, 

"Yes it is." 

Its not uncommon that Nicky and Nile get sent out together for shopping, of the 4 of them, they tend to make the most sensible purchases. On one of these trips to the grocery store Nicky stands next to Nile debating over which olive oil to buy but his mind clearly isn't focussed on the oil as he says, "You know- if you wanted, you could hear your Mom's voice again."

"Being dead is easier. Booker was right."

"Yes... But I could call her. I could tell her that I worked with you, that I was with you, when you died." 

"Would that help her?"

"You could say goodbye, through me. Closure helps. Eh, think about it." He says with a shrug, finally deciding on a bottle of olive oil and then wandering away. 

As they walk home, 5 bags of shopping shared between them Nile asks, "Why do you want to call my Mom for me?"

"You miss her. You said you wanted to hear her voice again."

"Yes... What else? I saw the look Joe gave you this morning."

"I wish I said goodbye to my mother. I just assumed she would have hated me, I didn't give her the chance to prove otherwise. Perhaps she could have accepted me because I was her son. Either way I didn't give her that chance. I lied this morning I did go back once. I didn't even care if she accepted me I just wanted to see her again, hear her voice, maybe have a bowl of her famous stew. When I went back the house was empty and ruined. She died a year after I left for the crusades. The village priest said she never recovered from my ‘death’. Its different for you I know. But everyone deserves a chance to say goodbye." 

When they get back to the house Nicky walks straight into Joe's arms, no words passed between them but Joe just seems to know. 

"We'll be back later." Is all he says to Andy and Nile before leading Nicky away to their room with a gentle hand on the small of his back. 

Andy does seem curious as she watches up the stairs after them then shrugs and takes the shopping that Nicky left. "Mmm you got chocolate."

"Nicky said its your favourite. He was really excited when he saw it. Do they not make it anymore?"

"I'm not sure, its rare anyway, this flavour in particular. He always remembers."

Nile gives Nicky a few days to recover his easy smile before she brings him a burner phone that Andy had spare. "Could you call my Mom?" 

"Of course."

"I could ask Joe to do it if you want. Or Andy."

"No, no I will do it." He takes the phone and then digs out a note pad, "Write what you want me to say down. Not too long though, nobody monologues through death for 3 minutes. Not that Hollywood would know." 

Whilst Nile starts scribbling Nicky presses in the numbers she wrote out, before he enters the last number he pauses, "Are you sure you're ready. This is the last time you can do this. We can wait."

"No. No I want to do it. If I don't do it now I doubt I ever will." 

The line rings for a few seconds then over the phone Nile hears the voice that sung her to sleep and soothed her fears. "Hello?" 

With a confirming glance to Nile that he has the right person Nicky replies, "Hello- this uh- may seem an insensitive question but are you Nile's mother."

"Y-yes yes I am. Why?"

"I know Nile- knew her. She spoke of you a lot." 

"She did- did you serve with her?"

"Yes- she and I- I was with her, when she died." 

"Oh they never said. They didn't tell me anything." 

"No- no I know. I wasn't meant to contact you but- I made Nile a promise and I don't intend to break it." 

Given that Nicky is the kindest and most gentle soul Nile has ever met, she is astounded by how easily he lies, even if they are white lies. That being said she has watched the man kill people. 

"That's ok, I won't tell." 

"Thank you- she uh-" Nicky pauses to tap the paper that Nile stopped writing on when she heard her Mom's voice, "She wanted me to tell you that-" Nile starts writing again but the pen just stops and she freezes, all the things she wanted to say piling out of her head and being replaced by an overwhelming grief. This is the last time she'll hear her Mom's voice. And she can't think of a single thing to say. 

Nicky watches sadly as she just shakes her head and rests her face in the palms over her hands, her shoulders shaking with sobs. 

"She wanted me to tell you that she's sorry, for leaving you, and all she wanted to do was come home for you. She wanted to say that from wherever she was going, she'd miss you with all her heart and that you were a wonderful mother, that you shouldn't blame yourself for her death, she made a choice and she just hoped she made you proud. She wanted you to keep living, and to honour her life by helping others like you helped her. Really she just wanted to say goodbye." 

There is silence on the other end of the phone and Nicky drops his head to rest on his own hands before after a faint crackle on the other end of the line there is a soft whisper of, "Thank you." 

"Goodbye." 

Nicky says gently then hangs up the phone before touching Nile's hands. "Nile?" 

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye properly."

"No- no I did. You said what I would have." She squeezes his hands, "I suppose we both got to say goodbye." 

He smiles with a peaceful look on his face. "I suppose we did."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
